none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
