Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
