Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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