I heard we made out
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I can't turn off my feet"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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