Tell her she can't have a vagina
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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