I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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