god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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