based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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