When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize