Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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