bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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