So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Randomize
