ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
