Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
