You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize