this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
