Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
