i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
