I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
