Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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