it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
