I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
