the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
