Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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