dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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