ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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