You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
