if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
