He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
