Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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