By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
