So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
