I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
