you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
