Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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