When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize