i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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