I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
