He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
