hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
