My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
where am i from again
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
