and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
