I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
These tits shall not be calmed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
