you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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