If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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