Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
did you just send me my own nude
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
