It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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