garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Who died my cat blue again?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
