You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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