it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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