Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
