i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
