but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize