i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well I just put wine in my tea
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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