I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
