She said her name was "party"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize