I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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