she woke up with a sticky ear
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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