My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
